I. ” I love that you get cold when it’s 71 degrees outside. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you crackle a little over your nose when you look at me like I’m crazy. I love that after spending the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you’re the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it’s not because I’m lonely, and it’s not because it’s New Year’s Eve. I’m here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”- Harry’s Epic Declaration of Love


II. “Nothing. It’s just that all the men are sure it never happened to them and all the women at one time or another have done it, so you do the math.”-Sally on faking orgasms


III. “I’m going to have what she has.”-Rob Reiner’s mother reacts to Sally’s fake orgasm


IV. “Baby fish mouth!”-Best Pictionary treasures, ever courtesy of Jess

V. ” What I’m saying is-and this is in no way a come-on, shape or form-is that men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.”- Harry exlaining his entire philosophy to Sally


VI. ” You look like a normal person, but you’re actually the angel of death.”-Sally, Harry


VII. “When I buy a new book, I read the last page first. If I die before I finish, I know how it ends. That, my friend, is a dark side. “Harry explains his dark side.


VIII ” All I’m saying is that somewhere out there is the man I want you to marry. And if you don’t get him first, someone else will, and you’ll have to spend the rest of your life knowing that someone else is married to your husband.”- Marie on the difficulty of being single


IX. ” It’s so nice when you can sit with someone and not have to talk.”- Harry trying to break awkwardness with Sally


X. ” Harry, you may not believe this, but I never thought about not sleeping with you as a victim. “Oh, snap! Good, Sally


XI. ” You made a woman meow?!”- Jess reacts to Harry’s latest sex story


XII. ” You take someone to the airport, it’s clearly the beginning of the relationship. That’s why I’ve never taken anyone to the airport at the beginning of a relationship. Because eventually it moves on and you’re not taking anyone to the airport and I never wanted anyone to say to me, Why don’t you ever take me to the airport anymore?”-Pro relationship tips from Harry


XIII. ” No one has ever quoted me to me before.”- Jess to Marie during the beginning of their courtship


XIV ” See? That’s just like you, Harry. You say things like that and make it impossible for me to hate you.”-Sally after Harry’s declaration of love


XV. ” There are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance.”- Harry explains women to Sally


XVI. ” All this time I’ve been saying that he didn’t want to get married. But the truth is, he didn’t want to marry me. He didn’t love me.”-Sally sobs after finding out her ex is engaged


XVII. ” Six years later you’re singing Surrey with an edge up in front of Ira!”- Harry after meeting Helen


XVIII. ” You are a human affront to all women and I am a woman.”-Sally reacts to Harry leaving women he has just slept with


XIX. ” But I want the cake heated and I don’t want the ice cream on top I want it on the side and I want strawberry instead of vanilla if you have it if not then no ice cream just whipped cream but only if it’s real if it’s from a can then nothing.”-Sally is mad.


XX “Had my dream again where I am making love, and the Olympic judges are watching. I would nail the wins, so that’s it, the finals. I got a 9.8 from the Canadians, a perfect 10 from the Americans, and my mother, dressed as an East German judge, gave me a 5.6. Must have been the relegation.”- Harry’s Recurring Sex Dream


XXI. ” What they could do to make it easier is to combine the two. You know, Mr. Kline died yesterday, leaving a wife, two kids, and a spacious three bedroom apartment with a wood burning fireplace.”- Harry on the difficulty of finding an apartment in NYC


XXII. ” Because of God.”-Sally on why they don’t do Sunday underpants in the days of the week


XXIII. ” A Sheldon can do your income taxes, if you need a root canal, Sheldon’s your man…. but Humpin ‘and Pumpin’ is not Sheldon’s strong suit. It’s the name. “Do me Sheldon, you’re an animal Sheldon, ride me big Shel-don. “Doesn’t work.”- Harry doesn’t think Sally had good sex with Sheldon.


XXIV. “You know, you may be the first attractive woman I’ve ever not wanted to sleep with in my entire life.”-Harry to Sally


XXV. ” No one thinks he’ll ever leave her.”-Talk to Marie when she talks about the married man she’s sleeping with

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